Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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