So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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