I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
