haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
