i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
