The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Randomize
