Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
