He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
