my sisters under your porch take her home
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
