don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
