singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
