i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
