I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
