ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
