it wasn't lemon gatorade
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
