How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
