I murdered the dance floor call the cops
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
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