U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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