You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
