What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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