yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
