Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
