He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
