i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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