ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
