and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
