I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize