Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
