For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize