No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
