The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I can't turn off my feet"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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