I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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