I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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