What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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