Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
