I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
