sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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