The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
