: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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