I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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