I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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