And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my sisters under your porch take her home
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
