I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
