apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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