I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
