How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
