Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
