Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
