they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Someone shattered a urinal.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
