He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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