Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
