He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
