dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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