You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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