The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
