I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
