i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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