it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize