im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
