I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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