he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
